For nearly half of a week, I woke up and puked. I’ll be honest, most of the time, there wasn’t anything to throw up… My stomach was empty, because I’ve lost my appetite.
My jaw hurts from clenching.
My shoulders and back are in knots.
My sleep patterns are all out of whack.
I’ve never felt so alive.
Maybe it takes losing everything to realize what life is really all about.
This weekend, I said my last goodbye to one of my dearest Utah friends. This left me feeling totally and completely alone… thousands of miles away from the people, things, places, and memories that I cherish the most.
The mental and emotional breakdown that ensued was not pretty.
After 3 days of anxiety, fear, loneliness, hopelessness, sorrow, regret, and pure, unadulterated heartache, I think I’m finally getting my bearings.
The desire to turn around and run back is subsiding.
The vision of the challenge I have before me is looking more and more exciting.
The people I’m meeting are inspiring.
This move away from home has been one of the most unbearable things I’ve ever experienced in my life. I’m literally banking on everything I hold dear that it will pay off.
Boy do I hope it will pay off.
I’ll do everything I can to make sure this pays off.
I mean, life is too short not to take risks…
Time to do the work.
Go, go, go!
Leave it all on the floor.
As Lance Armstrong said, “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”
Sometimes simple choices are not easy, and sometimes easy choices are not simple.
Unlike Alice (above), I have a pretty good idea of where I want to go, and what path I want to take. I’ve made my decision, and I’m sticking with it.
The decision was simple, and it was not easy. It required a lot of careful thought, and personal reflection. When I finally came to a conclusion I felt good about, I realized that new factors were coming into play that would require me to verify my decision.
As a matter of fact, I’m finding myself having to consistently reaffirm my choice on a very regular basis.
It’s as if I confidently chose a path and decided on a finish line, only to watch it be transformed and mutated by a violent earthquake right in the middle of my journey.
Little did I know that making the decision would not be the hard part. Living out the decision is what really takes guts.
Regardless of the path I have to traverse or the obstacles I have to overcome, I made my decision… making it to the end after all of these unforeseen challenges will only make it that much more rewarding.
Don’t give up on your dreams… because nobody else can dream for you.
I didn’t think today would be as hard as it has been. It was my last day at work before I make the move to Orlando, which means I was forced to say goodbye to the 50+ people I’ve spent nearly every day with for nearly a year and a half.
These people have become some of my closest friends. Some of them I’ve worked with before, others have been roommates and friends from high school or college. These are the people I want to be at my wedding one day, or people I’d want to vacation with…
Saying goodbye to these friends has helped me realize what I love most about work… and also what I’m best at.
One of the coworkers I’m not incredibly close to dropped by my office today to say goodbye. “Nate,” he said, “You are going to be missed around here. You really are the lifeblood of this company. You make everyone want to be better. I’ve never seen you have a bad day. You just bring so much positive energy to work. Your presence will be missed.”
I was floored. And then I realized that this is my passion. This is my life calling. I love inspiring others. I love motivating them to tackle new challenges. I love helping them find purpose. I love being involved in everyone’s projects in an effort to make them better. I love being the cheerleader.
Yes, my work is important too… but it’s the relationships I’ve built that are the real payoff for me.
My CEO has stopped by my desk at least half-a-dozen times this week to make sure that I know that I have an open invitation to come back at any time.
Having started here as a part-time employee during college to a full-time person who has had a significant impact on the culture and direction of a business has been eye-opening. More so now that I’m closing this chapter on my life and can reflect and see the impact and growth I’ve attained. (Hindsight is 20/20, right?)
I’m going to miss Mindshare. And it makes it even harder to go knowing they’re going to miss me too.
Now it’s on to a new adventure! (But first, another “Goodbye Party” where I say farewell to more people I love.)
“You can’t manage luck directly, but you can manage your career in a way that makes it easier for luck to find you. To succeed, first you must do something. And if that doesn’t work, which can be 90% of the time, do something else. Luck finds the doers.”—
This is an amazing article on education and entrepreneurship written by Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert. Read it. Now.
“The companies on the Fortune list have many things in common, and one of the ones that really jumped out is that they understand that there is more to the people who work there than work. Your employees have interests and desires that extend far beyond doing a good job for you, and if you can tap into that, they will actually do an even better job for you.”—
There is more to work than work. Love this article.
Last week, one of the executives I work with called me a failure.
He said it in a joking manner, and on the surface I laughed it off. Deep inside however, it nagged at me, and the fire of indignation was kindled.
I fumed over his comment for days, and tried to justify to myself that I was not, in fact, a failure.
I’ve always been very conscious of what people think of me. My perception of my standing with others has often influenced me to make decisions that would keep my reputation untainted, or satisfy those people closest to me. As a result, I’ve rarely been seen as a “failure.”
Having recently read Seth Godin’s Poke the Box (which focuses a lot on why failing is vitally important to be a success), I realized that the way I make decisions; or rather the WHY I make decisions is, and often has been wrong.
To put it simply, for 27 years I’ve been a failure at failing. And let’s be honest, when taken in context, it’s kind of sad.
Fortunately, this realization came to mind during a very important decision-making time in my life.
This week I decided to leave my stable job, my life-long friends, my family, and everything I’ve become familiar with over the past 20-something years and move to Florida… a strange and unfamiliar place where I have no network, no friends, and no family.
I’m making this decision in spite of the fact that I know friends and family would prefer I not go. I’m making this decision regardless of the fact that my current job is the best job I’ve ever had. My coworkers are like family to me. Many will be as sad to see me go as I will be to leave.
I’m making this decision because, quite simply, I want it.
I’m done being scared of failing.
I don’t know what’s going to happen on the East Coast. I don’t know who my friends will be. I don’t know if I’ll regret moving. I have no clue what major events I’ll miss at “home” while I’m away.
What I do know is that I’m good at what I do, I can make a difference, and that I will be a success no matter where I end up, even if it means failing a few times along the way.
I’m not scared of failing anymore. Because, now I know failing does not make you a failure.